I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
