I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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