WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
