before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
