My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
