I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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