you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
