you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
