dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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