question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
