Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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