Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
