That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
