I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
