Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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