Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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