if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
