He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
