so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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