last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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