Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
