At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
