where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize