He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
