No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
