I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why do cheetos always look like penises
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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