I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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