He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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