Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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