You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
