So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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