I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
