really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
