Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
