Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
