this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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