Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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