you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
