Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
