Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
