You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
