Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
