it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
