Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
