the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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