I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
