Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ttyl tear gas
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
