Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
