He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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