today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
