yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
