this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
