I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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