i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
