I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
