So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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