Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
