if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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