Define "chronic" masturbator.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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