New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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